Not For The Last Time
by hanleiarey
Summary: On their way to Bespin, Leia wakes up in Han's arms after a night of sweet lovemaking; Han reflects on how a small talk led them to tear their walls down. (first published on AO3, this is my first fanfic).


Leia blinked her eyes hazily. While feeling Han's warm body beside her, one arm around her waist and head rested on his arm as if it were a pillow, Leia studied him while he remained asleep, silently enjoying his closeness. She carefully tucked his hair behind his ear, grinning at the boyish look he had and thought she would have never gotten the chance to admire.

She buried her face in the crook of his neck, closing her eyes, and losing herself in his scent. She pressed her lips to the pulsating vein, leaving a trail of small kisses until she reached his strong and defined jaw.

"Hmm," Han mumbled gruffly, running his hand over her stomach.

He opened his eyes, meeting Leia's, with a smile tugging at his lips.

"Good mornin'" he mumbled.

"Hi," she murmured, drawing even closer to him.

Who would have thought that after years of bickering and yelling they would end up like this? Well, apparently the entire Rebel Base with their on-going bets, and surprisingly, Leia herself. She couldn't deny that behind all that fighting there was something else. To be fair, they weren't _always _fighting. They had fun together too, more than anyone could tell, even themselves. Nevertheless, their stubbornness and surely their pride would tend to overshadow those nice moments. All they needed was a little push, and the scariest thing for both of them— walls to be torn down.

"How did you sleep?" he asked, still groggy.

"Great" she responded with a husky voice. "In fact, I haven't slept this good in years, thanks to you."

Han smiled.

"I didn't know I held so much power" he joked, then caught her lips into his.

Leia kissed him back, deepening the kiss, leaving her breathless and a little moan escaping her lips.

"Well, you certainly did a _good_ job last night," she teased.

"Only good?" he teased back.

"Delightful," she concluded, kissing him again.

They fell into a silent hug, enjoying the warmth of each others' bodies. Han wondered how he could be so lucky. It had to be a dream— a sweet cruel dream — the kind that would be over just when it got to the best part. The kind of dreams that once they shook you awake, left you with a bittersweet taste in your mouth. But this wasn't a dream, not even close. He was holding Leia in his arms. He had kissed Leia. He had made love to Leia.

He tried to remember how after an agitating day of escaping the Empire and just a few more days of avoiding each other after that kiss they shared in the bay, they let their barriers down. It hadn't been easy for either of them. He knew Leia had lost so much in her life. _Fuck_, she lost her planet, her family, her people, everything. He understood that letting someone in, especially Han, who constantly threatened to leave to pay off Jabba the Hutt, was not an easy task. And yet, last night everything changed.

Leia had found Han sitting at the dejarik table sipping a cup of kaffe with his dice tangled in his fingers. They had about 40 days until they could reach Bespin. There wasn't much to do except repairs, and that wasn't enough to entertain any of the crew, especially Han. It had been long since he had so much time for himself, and he hated it. He knew that keeping his mind occupied would keep him away from drowning into a tide of unpleasant memories and thoughts. He had done a pretty damn good job at repressing his feelings. Not letting himself get attached to anyone, not letting anyone hurt him again, and not letting anyone in— Except Chewie, of course.

Without saying a word, Leia fixed herself a cup of kaffe, then approached the table and sat beside him. It was the first time in three days that they had looked into each other's eyes. Those big, sparkling brown eyes that looked at him like nobody else had before.

Leia's presence had always made Han a little nervous, in the sense that he could never guess if their encounters would unfold into bickering or extreme bickering. Weirdly enough, she also made him feel safe, comfortable and sometimes a close feeling to happy. Han watched carefully as she brought her cup to her lips, while he wondered whether he should say something or not. Finally, guiding himself from his impulsiveness, as usual, he decided to do it.

"Y'know, when I was about ten, I was working for this guy— big guy, owned tons of speeders in the back of his workshop," he started saying, his voice shaking, almost shy, already regretting his choice of not staying silent. Nonetheless, Leia had slid her fingers against his, squeezing his hand gently, acknowledging that Han had trouble when it came to sharing anything about his turbulent past. "He promised me, that if I repaired one of his old M-68 landspeeders I could keep it for my own– I sorta vowed to do so, so I could finally take my ma far away from there."

He paused. He took a sip of his kaffe, trying to hold back some tears that were threatening to fall. Leia moved closer to him and held his hand tighter. She noticed his pain, the effort he was making by telling her the story, a memory she was sure he had been trying to keep repressed all these years.

"_Kriff_, I was so naïve," he laughed quietly "One day, " he continued "I eventually got the speeder to work, surprisin´ for me, the big guy kept his word, let me keep it. So, I ran home, rushin' through the streets, but then, when I got there she was— dead". His body tensed "Empire," he said. "Apparently somebody heard her slanderin' about it— and I knew that if they have got there, it won't be long til' they caught me— so I got out of there as fast as I could, took the speeder, fought my tears back and never looked back. And since then, I never stopped running away."

Leia looked down at the tangled dice around Han's fingers. He mentioned that they had belonged to his mother.

"I'm sorry. That was just nonsense."

"No," Leia's voice was tender "I know you don't like to talk about your past, Han. I understand how it feels, how it is." She closed her eyes and let out a sigh. "We have to remember to hurt."

Han looked up at Leia.

"I think that would sorta ruin my scoundrel reputation, wouldn't it?" he smiled.

"Han," she started to say with a grin on her face "you will _always _be a scoundrel!"

He let a soft laugh out.

They just stared at each other, analyzing every wrinkled, small mark on their faces. Leia had started to caress his chin. It seemed like ages had passed until they both closed the space between them, leading to a tender and wet kiss. After a few seconds Han broke it, his hands tangled in Leia's lousy braid and gazing at her glistening eyes.

Leia ran her fingertips over his lips lightly and pressed her forehead to his.

"Leia," he whispered huskily and then cleared out his voice, "I understand if you don't want to go any further, especially with me leaving off to pay Jabba, but I jus' wanted to make clear that I really do _care _about you and this isn't just-" Leia put a finger over his mouth.

"I know," she said. After all the missions and adventures they went through, she really knew he meant what he had said. Scared that he ought to leave to pay the Hutt as soon as they reached Bespin and fixed the _Falcon,_ she bared in mind that this unexpected trip was probably the only chance they had to explore the growing spark between them. Even though she feared that Jabba wouldn't be so merciful, she knew he would come back to her. It was a feeling — an assured feeling. And if anything happened to him, she would go rescue him, like she had done multiple times. "Otherwise you wouldn't have followed me all these years so desperately." she teased.

"Hey!" he protested, his apparent insulted face soon to be changed with a smirk.

Leia brushed his lips to his.

"Take me to bed, Captain." She murmured.

He examined her words and stared at her big brown eyes once again.

"You sure?"

"Yes," she nodded "but only to confirm if all those rumors about the mighty Han Solo being some sort of God in bed are true."

He laughed.

"God in bed? Sweetheart, I'm better." he grinned.

"I guess I would have to judge that myself, Captain."

And even if he had joked about it, he really exceeded Leia's expectations, and they have been high. Their bodies rhythmically moved together, first slow and carefully, then everything got heated and Leia found herself in a sea of emotions and pleasure. And for a moment, she forgot about everything else. The Rebellion. The Empire. The War. Alderaan. Everything.

Now they laid hugged to each other, enjoying the warmth of their bodies.

"It feels too good to be true," she said, her voice wavering.

Han tilted his head at her, tangling his fingers in her messy hair.

"It _is _true." He assured her, moving his lips to the crook of her neck while she slid her leg between his. " 'Sides I need you to tell everyone that I was, as you said, 'delightful', I have a reputation to maintain, so if you could please file a report…"

Leia flung her pillow at him and shrieked with laughter.

"Hmm I don't know," she started saying while she sat over his lap, his hands drawing to her smooth skin down to her hips, "I might need a little refreshment if you are to be given a higher grade."

She bent down and their lips met once again, surely not for the last time.


End file.
